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The Power of Choice: How Giving Your Dog Options Reduces Anxiety and Unwanted Behaviors

Brown and white dog with their head buried in a basket of dog toys.

Dogs, like us, crave a sense of control. Imagine how you’d feel if every aspect of your day—what you eat, when you go outside, who you interact with—was dictated by someone else. You’d probably start feeling restless, frustrated, and even slightly anxious. Well, dogs are the same.


For decades, traditional dog training focused on strict obedience, forcing dogs to comply without considering their emotional needs. However, modern research in animal behavior suggests that giving dogs structured choices leads to a happier, more confident pup. This isn’t about letting them do whatever they want—it’s about guiding them with options that make them feel secure, respected, and understood.


Why Choice Matters for Dogs

Dogs with no control over their lives can develop learned helplessness, where they stop trying to make choices because they’ve been repeatedly ignored or punished for expressing their needs. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and even aggression. However, when dogs are given options through choice-based training, they develop confidence, feel safer in their surroundings, and are less likely to develop problem behaviors, leading to a happier and emotionally balanced pet.


How More Choices Improve Your Dog’s Life:

Reduces Stress – Giving dogs the ability to make small decisions prevents frustration and helps them feel secure.

Boosts Confidence – When dogs feel in control of their environment, they become more self-assured and relaxed.

Minimizes Behavioral Issues – Many unwanted behaviors, like excessive barking, chewing, or reactivity, can stem from a lack of control.

Strengthens the Bond Between You and Your Dog – A dog who feels heard and respected is more likely to trust you and follow your guidance.


Examples:

● Reduces Stress – Let your dog choose which toy to play with or which route to take on a walk. These small decisions can prevent frustration and help them feel secure.  

● Boosts Confidence – Allowing your dog to decide when to approach new people or situations helps them feel more in control, making them more self-assured and relaxed.  

● Minimizes Behavioral Issues – Many unwanted behaviors, like excessive barking or chewing, can be reduced by giving your dog choices, such as deciding whether to rest in their crate or on a comfy bed.  

● Strengthens the Bond Between You and Your Dog – Let your dog pick a treat from your hand or decide when to engage in play shows respect and builds trust, deepening your connection.  


The Science Behind Choice-Based Training

Research in animal behavior confirms that choice is vital to an animal’s well-being. Zoos, shelters, and training centers worldwide have successfully implemented choice-based enrichment programs. Research shows that animals thrive when given choices. For more information about how adding choice in you dog’s life can enhance their lives, read this article:


Zoos, shelters, and training centers around the globe are hopping on the "choices are cool" bandwagon with enrichment programs that let animals take the lead. The results? Happier, smarter animals who train faster and stress less.

How wonderful that when dogs are given autonomy, they learn faster, respond better to training, and display fewer stress-related behaviors.


What Science Tells Us About Choice:

  • Willingness to Learn – Research shows that dogs given control over their training sessions tend to retain new behaviors more effectively than those forced into compliance. This approach encourages a more positive learning experience, fostering trust and engagement between the dog and trainer, ultimately leading to better long-term results.

  • Better Emotional Regulation – Dogs given more choices in their daily lives tend to show lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress. This helps them stay calmer and reduces the likelihood of developing fear-based behaviors, such as aggression or anxiety, leading to a happier and more balanced pet.

  • More Engagement – Choice-based training lets dogs call some shots, keeping them focused and feeling like the top dog. It turns training into a fun, rewarding experience, strengthening their bond with you and providing enjoyment.


How to Give Your Dog More Control in Their Daily Life

Offering your dog choices doesn’t mean turning your house into a dog-run free-for-all. It means incorporating small, structured options into their routine. Here’s how you can start:


Let Your Dog Control Social Interactions

Some dogs are social butterflies, while others prefer their space. Let your dog decide whether to approach new people or dogs rather than forcing introductions. Watch their body language. If they seem hesitant, give them time and space.


Try this: Instead of making your dog greet every stranger on a walk, pause and see if they show interest. If they move toward the person, great! If they hang back, respect their decision.


Give Your Dog Choices in Training

Training doesn’t have to be a one-sided conversation. Allowing your dog to participate in their learning process builds enthusiasm and confidence.


Ways to do this:

  • Capturing: Instead of physically guiding your dog into a behavior (like pushing their bottom down to get them to sit), this method involves naturally waiting for them to offer the behavior on their own. When they do, you immediately reward them with a treat or praise. Over time, they’ll associate the behavior with positive reinforcement and repeat it more often. This technique encourages your dog to think and problem-solve, building a stronger understanding and engaging learning experience.

  • Choice-based rewards: Let them choose between two delicious treats or two fun toys as a reward, giving them the excitement of picking something they’ll truly enjoy while reinforcing positive behavior.

  • Opt-out opportunities: If your dog disengages from training, it’s important to respect their need for a break rather than forcing them to continue. Pushing them too hard can lead to frustration or a negative association with training sessions. Instead, give them a moment to relax, refocus, and return, ready to learn in a positive frame of mind.


Offer Choices in Walks and Exploration

Dogs experience the world through their noses, and being able to sniff is mentally stimulating.

  • Let them pick the route –Present two distinct options at a fork in the path—each leading to a unique experience or outcome—and observe which direction they choose to follow. Their decision may reveal insights into their preferences, priorities, and curiosity.

  • Give them sniff breaks – Instead of dragging them along, take a moment to pause and allow them to explore an interesting scent. Dogs experience the world through their noses, and giving them time to sniff enriches their walk and provides mental stimulation and relaxation. Ask yourself, How would I feel walking with my best friend if that person forced me to ignore enjoying the world around me?

  • Alternate between loose-leash and structured walking – Allow free movement when it’s safe, allowing them to explore their surroundings, try new things, and learn independently through trial and error. This independence helps build their confidence and problem-solving skills. However, stepping in when guidance is needed is equally important, offering support and direction to help them navigate challenges or stay on the right path. Balancing freedom with guidance ensures they feel secure while gaining the skills to grow and thrive.


Provide Control Over Comfort and Rest

Where does your dog like to sleep? Where do they feel safest? Many dogs prefer certain areas, and honoring their choices builds trust.


Ways To Respect Their Comfort Preferences

  • Multiple bed options – Place different types of bedding, such as soft blankets, plush cushions, or supportive mats, in various spots around your home. This allows them to explore and choose the most comfortable place to settle in: a quiet corner, a sunny spot by the window, or near their favorite chair.

  • Safe retreat spaces – Provide them with a quiet, low-traffic area in your home where they can retreat whenever they need some alone time. This space should be comfortable and free from distractions, allowing them to relax and recharge in peace.

  • Freedom to move – Instead of confining your dog to a single room, consider giving them open access to areas of your home where they feel most comfortable and secure. This could include a cozy spot in the living room, a quiet corner in your bedroom, or any space where they can relax and feel at ease. Creating a safe and welcoming environment helps reduce stress and encourages positive behavior.


Make Grooming and Vet Visits More Cooperative

Many dogs hate nail trims and vet visits because they feel powerless. You can reduce their stress by incorporating consent-based handling techniques.


How to make care less stressful:

  • Teach a “chin rest” cue – This useful training tool lets your dog indicate when they’re comfortable and ready to be handled. Start by holding your hand out flat, palm up, near your dog’s chin. Use a treat to lure their chin onto your hand, and once their chin touches your palm, mark the moment with a clicker or a clear word like “yes,” then reward them with the treat. 

Repeat this several times until they understand that placing their chin on your hand rewards them. Gradually add the verbal cue “chin rest” as they act consistently, and practice in short sessions to reinforce the behavior. Over time, this cue can help make your dog's grooming, vet visits, or handling situation more comfortable.

  • Use cooperative care methods –Rather than forcing them into place, take a gentle and patient approach when introducing grooming tools. Start by letting your pet see and sniff the tools to become familiar with them. 


Gradually begin using the tools in short, non-threatening sessions, such as lightly brushing their fur or gently touching their paws with clippers without cutting. During these sessions, offer plenty of treats, praise, and rewards for calm behavior to create a positive association with grooming. 


Over time, increase the duration of each session as your pet becomes more comfortable and relaxed. This step-by-step process helps build trust and ensures a stress-free grooming experience for you and your pet.


  • Give breaks –Allow your dog to take regular breaks during handling sessions, giving them time to relax and process the experience without feeling overwhelmed or stressed.


Common Myths About Giving Dogs Choices

  1. “If I let my dog make choices, they’ll think they’re in charge.”

    • Certainly not, thank goodness! Letting your dog call some of the shots can work wonders for their behavior—and make training less of a tug-of-war. When dogs are given choices, they feel more confident and secure, which builds trust and strengthens your bond. A little freedom can make a big difference: less stress, more tail wags, and a dog eager to engage and learn with you.Who knew giving Fido a say could be the secret to a happier, more harmonious relationship?

  2. “Dogs need strict rules, or they’ll become unmanageable.”

    • Rules are great, but sprinkle in some freedom. A well-trained dog with a dash of independence? That’s the recipe for a tail-wagging, adaptable companion!

  3. “Too many choices will confuse my dog.”

    • Well, too many choices confuse us! It’s called “choice overload”. Keep it simple—like choosing between a tennis ball or a squeaky toy. When it comes to decisions, less is often more.


The Balance of Freedom and Structure

Choice-based training is about trust, not turning your dog into a furry yes-man. A confident pup doesn’t obey out of fear—they listen because they know you’ve got their back. Respect their needs, and suddenly, you’re less “boss” and more “bestie.”


Start small. Let them choose the walking route (maybe not the one with the mud pit), pick between two toys (is the squeaky one superior?), or decide when it’s cuddle o’clock. Watch as their confidence skyrockets. Pretty soon, you’ve got a calmer, happier, tail-wagging friend.


Because training isn’t about control—it’s about teamwork. You're not just raising a good dog when your dog feels safe and in charge of their tiny, adorable choices. You’re building a bond full of trust, respect, and tail-wag-worthy joy.


About Stephanie Barger, Canine Zen

Stephanie Barger is a dog trainer specializing in separation anxiety and behavior modification. She spent the early years of her career teaching humans before transitioning to dog training over a decade ago. Her passion is helping you and your dog live more harmoniously together.


The name of her business, Canine Zen, embodies her approach to life with our dogs. She recognizes that dogs are living, breathing, sentient, social beings that need human support, compassion, and understanding to live beside us in our strange human world. She shows people how to effectively communicate with their dogs and understand what their dogs are trying to say to them. She strives to provide a safe environment for dogs and humans to learn and thrive together without fear, pain, or judgment.


If your life with your dog is not what you anticipated and "nothing has worked" to change things, Stephanie can help you understand and work with your dog to achieve your goals and a better life together. She is an amazing teacher, works compassionately with humans and dogs, and provides practical solutions for your dog training needs. Her goal is to calm the chaos in your home.


Feel free to contact Stephanie if you want to transform your relationship with your dog and create a more harmonious home. You can also ask questions in the comment box below. 


Free Discovery Call with Stephanie: https://train.caninezen.com/book-discovery-call-page


Stephanie and Canine Zen's links/handles:  



Stephanie’s Certifications/Organizational Affiliations:  

Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer (CSAT)  

Certified Behavior Consultant (CBCC-KA)  

Certificate of Completion-Aggression in Dogs Master Class  

Fear Free Certified Professional (FFP-Trainer)  

Certified Professional Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA)  

Member of the Association of Professional Trainers (APT)  

Member of the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC)  

Member of the Pet Professional Guild (PPG)  

Alignable Ambassador: Alliance of Central NM  

Alignable Group Co-Leader: Pet Industry Group  

Owner/Operator of Canine Zen LLC

 
 
 

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