Dealing with separation anxiety in dogs can pose a real challenge for pet parents. Feelings of helplessness arise as you consider ways to ease your furry friend's distress when you're away. Patience, empathy, and a consistent routine play vital roles in addressing separation anxiety.
Here's an example:
It's your first attempt at a "fake departure"—pretending to leave home—to assist your dog with separation anxiety. You grab your keys, jingle them as usual, and head towards the door. Instead of leaving, you pause, observing your dog from the corner of your eye.
Your dog, let's say, Max, immediately perks up, ears alert, eyes fixed on you intently. You can almost sense his thoughts, "Hold on, I recognize that jingle! It means you're going!"
Yet, when you don't exit, Max tilts his head, utterly puzzled. You witness the gears turning in his mind as he tries to comprehend what happened.
After repeating the routine a few times, Max's bewilderment deepens with each repetition. At one point, he even trots over to the door, nudging it as if to say, "Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of this thing?" However, when he realizes you're still inside, the visible relief on his face is undeniable.
After a few weeks of practicing this exercise, Max is more relaxed with the jingle of the keys. He understands that the sound doesn't always signal your imminent departure, and he's more at ease because of it. Both of you savor a moment of victory—you due to the progress in training and Max because he's starting to realize that solitude isn't as daunting as he once believed.
This light-hearted, gradual training approach can significantly impact your dog's adjustment to being alone. Furthermore, these small, amusing triumphs remind you to remain patient and ensure the process is enjoyable for both of you. But working with anxiety in dogs isn't always that straightforward. Making mistakes can slow down progress or make the anxiety worse. Identifying obstacles will aid your dog in overcoming separation anxiety and feeling comfortable in your absence.
Separation Anxiety Training Common Mistakes
1. Unrealistic Expectations
In today's fast-paced world, everyone wants things right away. Technology has a lot to do with this, no doubt. But dogs don't come with computer chips. One of the biggest mistakes in separation anxiety training is expecting a quick fix.
We all want our dogs to be calm when we're gone, but it's important to remember that it's a process, not a race. Each dog moves at their own pace, so it's crucial to celebrate even the smallest victories. It's a big deal when your dog stays calm for a few extra minutes or greets you with a wagging tail instead of barking!
Small wins add up, helping your dog build confidence and feel more secure. So be patient, cheer on your pup (and yourself), and enjoy the progress—no matter how tiny it may seem!
2. Pushing Too Fast
Another separation anxiety training common mistake is not going at your dog's pace. Rushing through separation anxiety training can lead to increased anxiety and unwanted behavior. It's crucial to observe your dog's body language and stress signals. If your dog seems overwhelmed, slow down or revisit earlier steps where it feels more comfortable.
The key is to ensure your dog remains below its anxiety threshold, gradually building its tolerance for being alone.
3. Not Suspending Absences
Neglecting to suspend absences can throw a wrench into separation anxiety training. Leaving your pup solo for ages before they're ready feeds their fears and makes them even more insecure.
Avoid leaving your dog alone in the early training phase until they have enough confidence from those controlled, positive experiences. You may need to shuffle your schedule or call reinforcements like a buddy, family member, or pet sitter to cut down on your dog's solo time.
4. Ignoring the Environment
When you're alone, if you feel more comfortable in a safe, relaxing space, you're not alone. Having a comforting space for your dog during alone time is key. Try putting a few pieces of old clothes on the floor (make sure they have your scent), a soft blanket, or a dog bed. Place everything in a favorite room with familiar items like water, toys, etc.
Important: Most dogs with separation-related problems do not do well in a crate, even if they are fine with it when their people are home. The goal is to make this space a sanctuary where your dog feels safe and relaxed.
Avoid using shock collars, prong collars, or any form of negative reinforcement, as these can exacerbate anxiety in dogs and lead to destructive behavior. Instead, focus on creating a secure and comfortable environment for your dog, where they can feel safe and relaxed when you're not around.
5. Repeating the Same Routine
Repeating the same pre-departure routine can cause your dog to anticipate your departure, increasing anxiety. Mix up the sequence of your pre-departure actions or practice "fake" departures, where you go through the motions of leaving without actually going anywhere. This prevents your dog from associating specific cues with being left alone, helping to reduce anxiety.
6. Overlooking External Factors
It's important to be flexible regarding external factors affecting your training. For example, if a loud thunderstorm causes your dog stress, you should soothe them and delay a training session until they're calmer. Similarly, if a visit to the vet has left your dog uneasy, give them time to decompress before resuming any separation anxiety exercises.
Being attuned to subtle shifts in your dog's behavior allows you to provide the extra support they need during challenging times—this might mean offering more positive reinforcement, spending additional quality time together, or simply being patient as they navigate these new stressors. Wouldn't you want someone to treat you the same way?
7. Ignoring Plateaus and Regressions
Be patient with yourself and your dog. Plateaus and regressions are normal in separation anxiety training. Just like any learning process, dogs may experience periods where progress stalls or they regress to earlier behaviors. This doesn't mean the training isn't working—it's a natural part of the process. When this happens, revisit earlier successful steps to reinforce their confidence.
It's also important to remember that separation anxiety doesn't disappear overnight or even after a month of training. It requires ongoing effort and dedication. Some dogs may need continuous support throughout their lives, but with the right approach, you can significantly improve their quality of life, along with yours.
Celebrate the progress, no matter how small, and continue to build on it. With time, love, and consistency, you and your dog can navigate separation anxiety and enjoy a happier, more peaceful life together.
8. Overlooking the Bond
This is my favorite: Respect and address the importance of bonding between you and your dog during separation anxiety training. Building trust and a strong connection is foundational to helping your dog feel secure.
Spend quality time together outside training sessions—play, relax, and enjoy each other's company. This strengthens your bond and reinforces your dog's sense of security, making it easier for them to handle being alone.
9. Refusing to Ask for Help
If you're struggling to progress, call me! I'm here to give you tailored advice and training methods that suit your dog's needs. I can also help you identify any separation anxiety training common mistakes you might be making and offer solutions to overcome them. For me, one of the most rewarding parts of being an anxiety expert is watching a dog owner go from being on the verge of giving a dog away to being a happy and engaged pet parent who thinks, "If I had quit, I never would know this dog and the joy that goes with it"I want the same for you!
About Stephanie Barger, Canine Zen
Stephanie is an certified dog trainer focusing on easing separation anxiety and improving behavior. She initially taught humans but shifted to dog training over ten years ago. Her mission is to enhance the bond between you and your dog, aiming for a peaceful coexistence.
Her business, Canine Zen, reflects her philosophy on life with dogs. Stephanie views dogs as aware, social creatures who require empathy and support to adapt to our human-centric world. She teaches effective communication between dogs and their pet parents, helping them understand each other better. Her approach promotes a learning environment free from fear, pain, or judgment for dogs and humans.
Stephanie dedicates herself to helping you overcome the challenges you face with your dog, even if you feel like you've exhausted all options. She combines her teaching expertise with a compassionate approach and provides practical training strategies.
Feel free to contact Stephanie if you want to transform your relationship with your dog and create a more harmonious home. You can schedule a free Discovery Call here.
Stephanie and Canine Zen's links/handles:
Facebook (personal): https://www.facebook.com/StephanieBarger67
Facebook (business): https://www.facebook.com/caninezenusa/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caninezen/
Certifications/Organizational Affiliations
Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer (CSAT)
Certified Behavior Consultant (CBCC-KA)
Certificate of Completion-Aggression in Dogs Master Class
Fear Free Certified Professional (FFP-Trainer)
Certified Professional Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA)
Member of the Association of Professional Trainers (APT)
Member of the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC)
Member of the Pet Professional Guild (PPG)
Alignable Ambassador: Alliance of Central NM
Alignable Group Co-Leader: Pet Industry Group
Owner/Operator of Canine Zen LLC
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