Picture this: you step outside for a moment—maybe to grab the mail, maybe to breathe—and behind you, your puppy or newly adopted dog panics as though you've vanished into another universe, never to return.
The barking starts, the whining follows, and perhaps a chewed-up shoe becomes their consolation prize. But here's the thing—it's not mischief. It's not rebellion. It's simply that they haven't yet discovered the truth: solitude doesn't have to be so scary.
Teaching your dog to be okay with alone time is an act of love, a small but profound gesture that says, "You are safe, even when I'm not here." Preventing chewed-up shoes or annoyed neighbors is great, but the true goal is nurturing your pup’s confidence and ability to find calm within themselves.
Now imagine giving your dog the gift of peace, of knowing that solitude isn't something to fear but a chance to rest, breathe, and be.
Let's explore together how to make this process joyful and meaningful for both of you.
Why Alone-Time Training Is a Big Deal
Think of alone-time training like teaching your dog a life skill. When dogs feel confident being alone, they're happier, calmer, and less likely to turn your sofa into confetti.
Puppies and newly adopted dogs are navigating a whole new world. Puppies miss their littermates, while adopted dogs might have a past full of transitions. Alone-time training teaches them they're safe, loved, and secure—even when you're not in the room.
How It Helps
Helps Prevent Separation Anxiety: Early alone-time training sets the stage for a dog who's chill about you leaving.
Builds Confidence: Dogs learn that they can handle quiet moments without stress.
Protects Your Sanity (and Furniture): A relaxed dog = fewer messes and more peace of mind.
Why Puppies and Adopted Dogs Struggle with Alone-Time
If your dog gets anxious when you leave, it's natural.
Puppies are used to constant companionship, so being alone can feel unfamiliar.
When Max brought home his new puppy, Bella, she followed him everywhere—into the kitchen, the living room, and the bathroom. But the first time Max left for work, Bella whimpered by the door, pacing nervously. She wasn't used to being alone; after all, she had spent every moment by his side since coming home. It's natural for dogs, especially puppies, to feel anxious when their humans leave. They thrive on companionship, and learning to be alone takes time.
Adopted dogs may worry you won't return, especially if they've been in multiple homes. This fear can lead to barking, chewing, or house accidents.
When Tom adopted Baby, a sweet Labrador mix, he noticed she became anxious whenever he grabbed his keys. One day, Tom returned to find his favorite shoes shredded and the trash tipped over. Baby had panicked because she thought he wasn't coming back. Like many dogs, she struggled with being alone after experiencing multiple homes. Over time, with training and patience, Baby learned that Tom would always return—and his shoes stayed safe!
What You Can Do
Empathize: Picture how you'd feel if everything suddenly changed. That's what your dog is experiencing and learning to process.
Be Patient. Your dog isn't acting out; it's asking for reassurance in the only way it knows.
Set a Routine: Imagine your dog knowing that 5:30 PM is dinner time, and they recognize that food is coming when you grab their bowl. They start their happy dance, tail wagging like a helicopter. Routines give them that "I know what's coming!" excitement daily.
The Setup: Creating a Safe Space
Before training, you need a doggy haven where your pup feels safe and comfortable. Think of it as their happy place—a little corner of the world that's all theirs.
How to Set It Up
Pick the Spot: Find the coziest corner in your home, lay down a fluffy blanket, toss in their favorite chew toy, and add an old T-shirt that smells like you—instant puppy paradise!
Make It Fun: Turn their space into a fun place. Toys, chews, and an inviting bed will help make your dog happy.
The Step-by-Step Training Guide
Here's the plan: take it slow, keep it positive, and remember that progress isn't always linear.
Start Small: Think of this as the trial run. Chill on one side of the room while your dog hangs out on the other. No big deal, right? Then, level up—add a baby gate or close the door for a minute or two. Baby steps because Rome wasn't built in a day (and neither is your dog's calm).
Step Out Briefly: Time to get dramatic. Leave the room, but stay where you can eavesdrop like the sneaky pet parent you are. If your dog remains calm, give yourself (and them) a well-deserved pat on the back. This is progress, people!
Build-Up Time: Here's where things get serious. Start increasing your "me time." First, a couple of minutes. Then five. Then ten. Before you know it, you're leaving for coffee runs like a pro. Take the pace as slow as your dog needs.
Create Predictable Cues: Dogs love routines as much as you love your dog. Say something like "Be right back!" in a calm, cheerful voice before heading out. It's like giving your dog a heads-up that you aren't ghosting them. Bonus: They'll learn to associate your cue with the fact that they are not being left forever! You want to avoid making a big deal when you leave. Something short and sweet that provides the dog with information about what to expect can be helpful.
Celebrate: When you come back and your dog isn't acting like you've just returned from a year-long expedition, make it rain rewards. Treats, belly rubs, or a heartfelt "Who's a good pup?" will do the trick. You're reinforcing their cool, calm, and collected behavior—and they'll love it. Just be careful to keep reunions calm, as well.
Common Challenges and How to Handle Them
Even with the best setup, things can get tricky. Here's how to troubleshoot like a pro:
Whining or Barking: When your dog starts whining or barking after you step away, the instinct might be to wait it out, hoping they’ll calm down on their own. But for some dogs, this only stirs the pot, making them more anxious and harder to soothe.
The better move? Return before things escalate. Keep your arrival understated—no big fanfare, no treats for noise-making. Your goal is to reassure them quietly, showing that being alone isn’t a crisis. Gradually, you can nudge the boundaries, leaving them for longer stretches while they stay under their emotional threshold. Calm breeds calm, after all.
Chewing or Destruction: If your dog is chewing on furniture, shoes, or other items it shouldn't, it's a sign it may feel stressed or anxious about being alone. Ensure they have plenty of safe, chew-friendly toys to help redirect their energy positively. If destructive behavior persists, consider reducing the time they're left alone and gradually building it back to help them feel more secure and less overwhelmed.
Regression: Training isn't a straight line—it's more like a winding path through the woods, full of surprises and detours. If your dog seems to falter after making progress, don't despair. This isn't failure; it's part of the process. Pause. Breathe. Return to the basics—shorter separations, easier steps, gentle reassurance. Build their confidence brick by brick, with love and patience as your tools. Trust the process. Trust them. Growth isn't always linear, but it's always possible. Stay steady, and you'll find your way together.
When to Call in the Experts
Sometimes, anxiety runs deeper than what you can handle alone, especially if your dog won't stop barking, drooling (depending on the breed), or trying to escape. It may be time to seek professional help.
What to Look For: Keep an eye out for signs of stress in your furry friend! Restless pacing, whining, chewing up the couch, or even unexpected accidents in the house can all be your dog's way of saying, "I'm feeling anxious." These little behaviors speak volumes—especially during those brief moments you step away. Listen to what your pup is trying to tell you!
Who to Call: Work with a certified dog trainer who truly gets it—separation anxiety can be tough for both you and your pup. These experts create personalized, compassionate plans to help your furry friend feel calm, confident, and happy, even when you’re not around. Let’s turn those stressful goodbyes into tail-wagging hellos!
Why It's Worth It: Seeking expert help is a testament to your dedication, not a sign of failure. It reflects your deep commitment to your dog's happiness and emotional health. With the right support, you’re offering them something priceless—comfort, confidence, and peace of mind—even during the times they’re on their own.See the end of this article for information on how to have a free Care Call with Canine Zen’s anxiety specialist, Stephanie Barger.
The Gift of Confidence
Alone-time training builds a deeper connection between you and your dog. It's about trust, love, and whispering to their sweet, anxious hearts, "You're safe. Always."
This journey will take patience and tenderness. And yes, it may take a few silly, wonderful trial-and-error moments. But as you show them—moment by moment—that they are loved, even in your absence, you'll witness something magical. Their worry will soften. Their bodies will relax. They will rest, knowing you'll always come back.
And that tail wag when you return? It will be from joy instead of relief. So, grab those treats. Make their little corner of the world cozy. Begin. Because what you're offering is more than training—it's the power to believe in something bigger: the unshakable love between you and your best friend.
About Stephanie Barger, Canine Zen
Stephanie Barger is a dog trainer specializing in separation anxiety and behavior modification. She spent the early years of her career teaching humans before transitioning to dog training over a decade ago. Her passion is helping you and your dog live more harmoniously together.
The name of her business, Canine Zen, embodies her approach to life with our dogs. She recognizes that dogs are living, breathing, sentient, social beings that need human support, compassion, and understanding to live beside us in our strange human world. She shows people how to effectively communicate with their dogs and understand what their dogs are trying to say to them. She strives to provide a safe environment for dogs and humans to learn and thrive together without fear, pain, or judgment.
If your life with your dog is not what you anticipated and "nothing has worked" to change things, Stephanie can help you understand and work with your dog to achieve your goals and a better life together. She is an amazing teacher, works compassionately with humans and dogs, and provides practical solutions for your dog training needs. Her goal is to calm the chaos in your home.
Feel free to contact Stephanie if you want to transform your relationship with your dog and create a more harmonious home. You can also ask questions in the comment box below.
Free Discovery Call with Stephanie: https://train.caninezen.com/book-discovery-call-page
Stephanie and Canine Zen's links/handles:
Facebook (personal): https://www.facebook.com/StephanieBarger67
Facebook (business): https://www.facebook.com/caninezenusa/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caninezen/
Stephanie’s Certifications/Organizational Affiliations:
Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer (CSAT)
Certified Behavior Consultant (CBCC-KA)
Certificate of Completion-Aggression in Dogs Master Class
Fear Free Certified Professional (FFP-Trainer)
Certified Professional Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA)
Member of the Association of Professional Trainers (APT)
Member of the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC)
Member of the Pet Professional Guild (PPG)
Alignable Ambassador: Alliance of Central NM
Alignable Group Co-Leader: Pet Industry Group
Owner/Operator of Canine Zen LLC
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